Dear friend,
I dont really know how to tell you this but, I'm in love with your cat. i think i realized when i tripped on peanut butter In your apartment and i saw you Drive over Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection. Im sure you're Middle-class enough to understand That there is no solution to you being a dumbkid. im returning Your car to you but ill keep Your criminal record as a memory.
You should also know that i Get sick when I think of your feet and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Best of luck on the gender change,
Virali
[Now its your turn!!!!]
Example:
Dear (friend),
I dont really know how to tell you this but, (1). i think i realized(2)(3) and i saw you (4) (5). Im sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). im returning (8) to you but ill keep (9) as a memory.
You should also know that i (10) and (11).
(12)
(your name)
1.Color of shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red- Our affair is over
White-I'm joining the convent
Black- Our romance is over
Green-Our socks don't match
Grey-You're a leprechaun
Yellow-I'm selling myself for candy
Pink-your nostrils are insulting
Brown-the mafia wants you
No shirt-you're mean
other-i dislike your eyelashes
2.What is your birth month?
January-that night you picked your nose
February-when i quoted forrest gump
March-when your dwarf bit me
April-when i tripped on peanut butter
May-when i threw up in your sock drawer
June-when you put cuffs on me
July-when you smacked my butt
August-when i saw the purple monkey
September-last year when you peed your pants
october-when we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November- when your dog humped my leg
December-when i finally changed my underwear
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebabs - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In my pajamas
Sandwiches- At the Elton John concert
Pizza - In a clown suit
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4.What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5.What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – My salt beef bucket
other – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
none - The elephant in the corner
6.What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed
7.What mood are you in?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumbkid
Other - That your driving sucks
8.what's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black- Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your falseteeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Off white - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montanna underwear
9.The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbor’s dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10.The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Always wanted to break your legs
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
11 .What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – I love Oprah Winfrey
Whiskey - Your cucumber-fetishism is creepy
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose
12.To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the gender change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself
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9 comments:
In response to your comment on my blog...
Yeah, that. That, indeed. I have a cell phone, but I'm not putting it up here so I don't get tracked down and raped. A Myspace, well, I have an old Myspace but its empty and notupdatedverymuch.
Virali, do you really think I would let a chick update my myspace? I have standards, that's why I haven't asked out somebody like Dori.
If you're a mean enough person to be lying, Virali, I'll know for sure when I see my new profile. If that is Alyssa then how would I give you the password anyway?
By the way, if you haven't realized it, I'm quite a cynical person. You'll have to get used to that.
Give my password and number to you and your best friend who is in a different first period class? Oh, the silliness, if that's even a word.
Defenstrator, are you mumbling to yourself, or is Virali replying to you between your comments?
Five comments in a row - that's worse than that one time I posted those three consecutive comments on Kopel's blog. Do you need help, Defenstrator?
Yes, I think silliness is a word.
Go to my blog and see my recent posts Simplebutpowerful, and you will see.
I read the entire post Virali, are you proud of me
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